Paul Revere was a F*&%ing Dentist

I read on one of those “strange facts” websites that Paul Revere was a dentist. I thought it was an interesting fact, so I shared it with my friend Kevin. Kevin told me that he had been to Paul Revere’s house, and that he was a silversmith. Since Kevin once also told me that the reason people say things like “playin’ ” instead of “playing,” or “hangin’ ” instead of “hanging” when speaking was to pay homage to all of the “fallen G’s,” I am usually hesitant to believe anything that comes out of his mouth. Plus, I had read this on a website that purported to be factual. The internet has its gaps, but why make that up? Why lie about Paul Revere being a dentist? What possible purpose could this serve?

So I did some research. It seems like people just like to make stuff up about Paul Revere. Like this site where Paul Revere’s dentistry skills are mocked. According to another site, Revere is more of an amateur dentist, cleaning teeth and things when he is strapped for cash. I guess the real money was in silversmithing. But basically, I was right. Paul Revere, though also a silversmith, was technically a dentist.

I did find one interesting site in my web navigations, however. It’s a simple site, stripped of content and with very little information. But what is there is quite interesting:

Why is this interesting? Let me break it down for you. First of all, it backs up my claim of Paul Revere being a dentist. I must say I do hope that’s what it says on Paul Revere’s gravestone:

Paul Revere: Dentist and Patriot

(Fuck the Redcoats)

1734-1818

That may not be what it says, I’m just saying it would be cool, and I wouldn’t rule it out. Amazing byline aside, take a look at the source of this information. Who is it exactly that is calling Paul Revere a dentist and a patriot? That’s right! The British Dentist Journal of 1973.

Or should I say…the Redcoat Dentist Journal of 1973.

Why are the British referring to Paul Revere as a patriot? He betrayed the Queen! He was not a patriot of England, he was public enemy #1! He alerted the masses that the British were coming! Why are they calling him a dentist and a patriot?

Does this mean all is forgiven? Was this the final handshake of peace that really put this whole “American revolution” rebellion issue to rest? 200 years and the go-ahead from a group of dentists?

I don’t know. I’m not sure about anything anymore.